Today, after a long hard shift in the office, I had to struggle home on foot.
It wasn’t easy. Leaning into the wind, one hand held up against the lashing rain, I had to force myself onwards one step at a time.
It was an epic journey, filled with action and adventure, and I faced it all with the anger of the gods raging against me. According to my phone, the temperature plummeted to an almost arctic 8°C, while the heavens were said to be “partly cloudy with showers”.
I’m not sure I would have survived at all, if not for the birthday boots and big coat I’d garbed myself in.
Yet, somehow, I did survive. And as I heaved open the door to our home with shivering hands, it almost felt worth it… for I was greeted by the luscious, mouth-watering scent of a succulent roast dinner.
Heaven, I thought.
Until a second later, when I realised Jen was still in work and the house was cold, dark, and empty. My stomach cramped up in pain and confusion. There was no food! I was merely smelling the lingering scent of yesterday’s hearty meal.
That’s when I knew the truth. That my nose is nothing but a mischievous swine who cannot be trusted.
…and that I would have to survive on nothing but Rich Tea biscuits until Jen got home and saved me.
Tony